You don't know what you want because you have it

"I don't know what I want. When you don't know what you want, you've reached the state of desirelessness. When you really don't know.

Why don't you really know what you want? Two reasons that you don't really know what you want: number one: you have it. Number two: you don't know yourself, because you never can. The Godhead is never an object of its own knowledge. It's always an endless mystery to itself. I don't know! And this I don't know is the same thing as I love, I let go, I don't try to force or control, it's the same thing as humility.

'He by whom Brahman is not known, knows It; he by whom It is known, knows It not. It is not known by those who know It; It is known by those who do not know It.' (Kena Upanishad 2.3)

The meaning of the fact that everything is dissolving constantly, that we're all falling apart, we're all in a process of constant death... all falling apart, everything is. That's the great assistance to you. That fact, that everything is in decay, is your harbor. That is allowing you, that you don't have to let go, because there's nothing to hold on to.

It's achieved for you, in other words, by the process of nature. So once you see that you just don't have a prayer, that it's all washed up, and that you will vanish and "leave not a rack behind", and you really get with that... suddenly, you find you have the power. This enormous access of energy. But it's not power that came to you because you grabbed it, it came in entirely the opposite way. And power that comes to you in that opposite way, is power with which you can be trusted."

-Alan Watts