Natural Awareness

A Million Years

from Paper Rad Trash Talking

Bamboo Stems

"Mr. Eckhard Voelcker, of the Berlin Microscopic Society in Germany, took this image of the cross section of bamboo stems — which look decidedly spooked. They are magnified 200 times."

From here.

Albert Einstein quote

"What has brought them to the temple... no single answer will cover... escape from everyday life, with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from his noisy cramped surroundings into the silence of the high mountains where the eye ranges freely through the still pure air and fondly traces out the restful contours apparently built for eternity."

Apparently I Only Write Once Per Year

What would it be like to let go of everything? To abandon mind, to just become the stars in the night sky? To step back and see a person acting out the repeated myths and legends of our time, one by one, each in its own unique but archetypal way? What are you afraid of? Find out and look it right in the face. You'll see yourself looking back. What do I have to say that hasn't already been said? The answer cannot be answered. The question cannot be questioned. Sometimes our problems don't need a solution but just a rebalancing of perspective, to realize there is no problem. Nothing happens in a vacuum. If you don't like how things are, look at it from the other side of the room. Take a step back or a step sideways. Two steps forward, one step back. Unleashing is easier said than done.

Sometimes, my mind races, inspired, intrigued, restless, excited with thoughts and ideas, sparkles in the sky, most never seeing the outside of that small moment. Others, my mind is a clean slate, blank and quiet and empty as deep space, the space in between the atoms and the waves. I'm not sure which I like better. One is peace, one is action. One thing I can't stand is unfinished business, an abandoned venture. Sometimes I question my choices. I'm happy where I am. But will I be, when I realize I haven't developed my career in a lucrative way? Is it wrong to despise the labor of money, and adore the labor of love? I've always told myself from day one, that whatever you do, you have to do it 100% if it's going to go anywhere. I know I'm not a genius or a savant, I don't pull inspiration out of thin air, but most don't. Most are lucky for one moment in the sun. The rest is the labor of love. I know what I love, I know what I value, and I won't compromise because that would be a compromise of self. If you trust what you love to be your guide, it can only lead you to your own satisfaction. Will it lead you to the satisfaction of others, that is another question with not as easy of an answer. I just wish I had more time and energy to devote to the task. I'm not getting any younger. Some candles burn bright and burn out quickly, others burn steadily and surely, outlasting the shining stars.

If 2013 was about experimentation and exploration, 2014 is about honing a craft, choosing one of the many paths to trod down and see how far it leads, how well it can be developed and enhanced, to truly encapsulate an idea, a feeling, a mood in each futile attempt to distill the reason for our pursuit in the first place. Each an action along a certain time, each never like the next, even on the smallest and the largest scales. An idea coming to fruition in its own right, therein lies the true satisfaction now. Consistency and constancy. We will see what the oracle has to say.