Live from the Lab

Inhale, exhale...

To me lately, the longer time goes on, the less it means. If its passages are only neuronic separations, then it's no surprise why a moment can feel like an eternity, a year can go by like a month, a night's sleep can pass like an instant, or sometimes things can seem to move so fast we can barely keep up, or even begin to make any sense of it all before the next thing's come and gone.

More and more, amidst this sea of creation, the created, and the yet to be imagined, often the things we create have already been made a hundred times in a hundred other ways, so why bother, I ask? Is a hundred too much, or not enough? Or just right?

Lately I try to live like I breathe. In and out, in and out, the inner transformation turning inhales into exhales, working on the theory that what we take in affects what we expel, and how we experience life, so if we dine on a diet of ancient wisdom, will our experience become less confused, more clearly focused? Of course it will. These days I consume music like food, going from the wildest jazz ramblings to the darkest broken rhythms, spiritual disco and techno-psychedelia, rocksteady dub, nerdy electronica, fringe-Reich-Glass-Cage-music, and everything in between (especially the things in between). I read the cream of the crop of teachings and realizations that took thousands if not millions of years of cosmic evolution to reach, things that people way back when, people would have died to know, or only were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of, or even understand, things that you can now buy for $15 or less on Amazon or wherever. This is where we're at now. Always trying to keep up, keep up.

These days it feels like everything's already been figured out for us by our predecessors. If we can breathe in words of wisdom and the most superb compositions of music, years and years of trial, error, and persistent effort, prepared for us to now consume so easily, what do we DO with it? What CAN I do? What's the POTENTIAL?? What remains to be done that is worth doing, that hasn't been done a hundred times in a hundred other ways? And does that matter? Should I care? Is a hundred forms or more enough for the world, or not enough? Since everything keeps expanding, time seems to move a tiny bit faster every moment, but we don't notice since everything remains proportionally equal, perhaps these realizations have some purpose to serve, to provide a little mental solace in the ever-reaching unknown, or to help us sleep at night. In the end, it's okay, in the end we're minuscule and gigantic all at once, we're a cosmic eyeblink, and the slowest time-drag ever known. After all time is just neurons to us, stretched out by gravity. In the end, we're so insignificant in this ever-expansive multiple-dimensional ocean, yet everything we do is significant to US, we control our lives, our destinies, with every neuronic twitch, we control the present and react to it, to the best of our ability. We do and we don't. We're the biggest paradox ever known. Try to keep up...

Again, this has probably been said before, many times, in many other ways. So I'm not sure why I bother. If I understand what I mean, that should be good enough for me. Either way, it's been a while since I let my thoughts expel into words, so maybe it's about that time.

I suppose that's what I'm getting at... it's all about time (and it's not). Some days I FEEL time, other days I feel an eternal singular moment, the trees reaching up into the sky, splitting off in fractal branches are simply creeping along through their time slower than us, if you sped up the playback of the life's movie, you see how they develop just the same as our veins, lightning, rivers, and a million other things, some of which we know about, and a lot of which we don't. When you take time out of the equation, it's everything-happening-everywhere-all-at-once. And isn't that just great? If that doesn't help you sleep at night, I don't blame you. We're still ACTING things out here, still figuring out how to make A meet B, X pair up with Y, and always trying to keep up...

It's been said by many a wise man that in the end, all that's left to do is have a good laugh. That's why I try to never take anything too seriously, and laugh often. Because in the end, everything is ridiculous. A + B does not equal C, everything is getting weirder, weirder all the time. What is X now is the same as Y later. Our words are feeble at best. Our bodies show us what we need to see in order to survive, to continue seeing it, NOT what's always there beyond our everyday human spectrum of sensitivity. Beauty is always just around the corner, perfection is just over the next hill, if we could just grab onto something, if we could just get there a little faster, we're catching glimpses of it from time to time, if we're lucky, if we could only just keep up, always keeping up...

I think my cat gets it more than most. He sleeps when he's tired, eats when he's hungry, looks for warmth when his bones are cold, rolls in the grass when he's got an itch, and chases things he knows aren't really mice, just because life would be all the more boring if he didn't. And that's why I love him.

Getting back to the global cosmic thing. Or just.. getting to it. One thing we can do, and are doing, with all of this music and convenience in our lives now, is having more time to just get down on it, get high off of it, rock out, shake your groove thang, come meditate on bass weight, or just chill out man, sit back and relax and enjoy the ride, go out of your mind, go insane, go a thousand miles in a jet airplane, cuz pretty soon it'll all turn to dust, and we'll see you in the next life...

Yet, it appears this... act... is something we've either had time to do, MADE time to do, or hell, just done, ever since the beginning. Something about the methodical, repetitive, tribal, group-minded nature of THE DANCE itself is too natural to be invented. I venture to say it's been there all along, the party element, the tribal dance around the fire, the joy of the hunt, the mating ritual, the religious sacrifice, the universal rhythm, the synchronicity, the cosmic groove, the throw your hands in the air like you just don't care, there's a party over here, a party over there... THE RELEASE... RADICAL ACCEPTANCE.... SHAKE OUT YOUR DEMONS.... GETTING IT ALL OUT FRONT...

After all, that's all we can do. We need to just keep up, but then again we don't. Just stay with it, just ride it out, ride it all the way, all the way home, it will all be okay...

I for one think we can do great things with what we have now. We can, and we should. Because who else is gonna do it, but us, so it might as well be me. or you. Then again, if you don't do it, I'll do it, or the next guy will. Up to you, your loss, or gain. The choice is yours.. do what you will, do what you feel... we'll be OK, we'll see you in the by and by... the next transformation, the next mutation, just stay with it, always further, always forward.

To me, we must always be asking the question, how far can we take this? How weird can we get? Can we reach something new, something unprecedented? To me, that's all we can do. Always finding new ways to get down on it, get on that groove. Finding ways for us to sync up. Sure, there will be creations worth keeping and things worth forgetting, but that's life. Otherwise we're just one of the hundreds and thousands repeating ourselves, over and over, and is that even enough, or too much.... or does it even matter....

Breathing in musical, literary, and spiritual wisdom, what can I exhale with my own level of articulation and if I'm fortunate enough, grace, to the best of my ability, that will take this thing of ours, this thing we're doing, just a little bit further? How far can we take it, and what will that SOUND like? How much can music HOLD, how much can it transfer, and ACHIEVE? It can inspire movement, but can it inspire thoughts? States of consciousness? Is there a universal message to be found among the threads? What's there that we haven't even been listening to, that's been there ALL ALONG? Can it make you say to yourself, oh, I gotta keep up, gotta keep up with this right here...

I say yes. For me, that's what's to be done, so that's what I'm doing. if you want to keep up, keep up, if you don't, it's OK, I won't mind, I'll stay on my groove, I'll keep doing my thing, you do yours, and we'll see you in the by and by, see you around the bend, and just within your reach, stay with it, you understand, you can stay on the bus or get off it, just along for the ride, all along... all aboard... next stop, wherever, whenever... when we finally catch up with ourselves, we'll be home, until then, inhale, exhale, think think think think....